How we Got Here

Hey Fam,
Whaaatttsss gooooooddddd?!

First, thank y’all for all the love and support you’ve been showing me. Your comments, encouragement, and sharing of my website mean a whole lot! I am truly surrounded by the BEST community.

Y’all, I’m a grandma at heart and I am STRUGGLING with all this tech stuff. It’s not my gifting 😂 but I’m learning how to navigate it all.

That being said, I wanted to share a clip of a spoken word piece I wrote. Well… actually, I wanted to share the whole poem, but it was sooo cringe recording myself in my dining room with NO editing skills. I’m vulnerable on here, but I’m not THAT vulnerable 😂. So one day, when I really learn this stuff, MAYBE I’ll share the whole poem.

Anyways! If you haven’t watched it already, please do so—then come scroll right back down...
Watched it? Good! Yay! Thanks!

Before we jump back in, I will say: I know my writings are super long and I do try to make them shorter because I know people don’t be reading like that. BUT—I’ve got things to walk us through, teachings to develop, thoughts to explore, and points to make. So bear with me, and I hope you enjoy going on this JOURNEY...

Jumping back in:

When I wrote this poem, I was at my BREAKING POINT. Anxiety was at an all-time high, and I was just coming out of the first depressive episode I’d had in almost 10 years.

This season was brought on by just… all the demands of life. Working full-time at a job that exploited me. Being a mom. Taking care of a household alone. Trying to keep up with friendships (and failing horribly at that). Some man playing with my emotions. Co-leading multiple ministries. The financial burden of living alone in California. Taking my LCSW test. Changing jobs. Opening a new office. Learning management. Leading a team. Being heavily isolated with the exception of work and church- both places that I poured heavily into.

It was just a lot, y’all.

During that year, I stopped pouring into my friendships. Stopped going to the gym. I gained 25 pounds. I could not keep my house clean for the life of me. I had zero energy. I couldn’t stay mentally present. I was always irritable. I was truly drowning behind closed doors.

Through therapy and prayer, I learned that I overload my plate to prove my worth and contribution to others. I stay busy to mask the loneliness I actually feel. I build intimacy by getting to know others, but I have walls that don’t allow others to know me.

My point in sharing this is that oftentimes, when we overload our plate… when we stay busy… when we TOIL—it’s often driven by some insecurity or idol.

Toil: work extremely hard or incessantly
Incessantly: without interruption; constantly

Y’all, our culture values—and even praises—that grind all day mentality. When people put in nonstop hard work to reach a goal, we admire them, put them on a pedestal, and aspire to be like them. When people are content with where they are in life we call them lazy, stagnant, and say they do not have ambition.

We push ourselves past our limits to reach whatever goal we’re after, hoping it proves our self-worth or leaves us feeling satisfied in the end.

But how many tragic stories have we heard about people who worked their whole lives to become famous—only to end up strung out on drugs? Or chased success and never maintained a relationship to leave a legacy?

How many of our own family members have we seen develop health issues from the stress that comes with toiling?

How many of us have vices that help us decompress: Netflix, TikTok, alcohol, marijuana, porn, food... the list goes on and on.

We’re in this cycle of pushing ourselves past our limits, then decompressing with things that often aren’t healthy. We see it—but breaking free from the expectations of this culture is hard. Especially when that culture is demanding—and choosing to live differently requires self-discipline, courage, and a whole lot of help from the Holy Spirit.

By now, I think you guys know my position on God.
He is perfect- without flaw.
I don’t understand all His ways, but I concur that He is wise—past my understanding.
He is good. He is love. He is kind. He is all-powerful.
He created everything. Without Him, everything would cease to exist.
That is my premise. That is my foundation.

So… if God—with all those attributes—rested on the seventh day when He made all of creation:

“On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.”
—Genesis 2:2–3 (NLT)

Why do we believe we’re strong enough to navigate life without rest being engrained in our schedules?

And if Jesus—God in the flesh—often rested and slipped away to pray:

“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”
—Luke 5:16 (NLT)

“Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.’ He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.”
—Mark 6:31 (NLT)

“Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion...”
—Mark 4:38a (NLT)

Why do we still subscribe to the grind-nonstop mentality?

The New Testament may not command Sabbath-keeping, but God rested. Jesus rested. The Sabbath is one of the Ten Commandments. If we’re paying attention—if we open our eyes wide enough—we’ll begin to see just how unhealthy the grind really is: Spiritually. Mentally. Emotionally. Relationally. Physically.

Over time, that constant go-go-go pace takes a toll. We burn out. We detach. We numb. We live in survival mode and call it discipline or ambition. But really? It’s a lack of wisdom.

Scripture speaks clearly about toiling—working endlessly, striving constantly, and wearing ourselves out. After the fall, man was cursed to toil the ground to survive (Genesis 3:17–19). Ecclesiastes reminds us that overworking brings pain, stress, and restlessness, and in the end, it’s all meaningless without God. He never asked us to prove our worth or take care of ourselves through constant work. He invites us to trust Him enough to rest.

Many of us work ourselves to the bone just to survive. We carry the weight of bills, children, housing, and life. But grounding ourselves in truth is key: We are not helpless. Sometimes incorporating rest means relying more on community—living with family, rotating child care, moving to a more affordable area, canceling subscriptions, driving a used car, even living without AC.

Comfort is often the idol that keeps us toiling in vain.

I want to focus our attention on Psalm 127:

1 Unless the LORD builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted.
Unless the LORD protects a city,
guarding it with sentries will do no good.
2 It is useless for you to work so hard
from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat;
for God gives rest to his loved ones.
3 Children are a gift from the LORD;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
—Psalm 127 (NLT)

This psalm speaks directly to what I’ve experienced. The things I pursued outside of God's will were often the hardest. Dead end after dead end, and I never found contentment. But when I trusted God with what He had for me, things always aligned.

As a single mom, at 29 and two halves years old, there is no reason I should be able to live on my own in California. But here I am. In a safe home. With a reliable (not flashy) car. A flexible job with autonomy. Enough time to be with my daughter—so much so that she could mistake me for a stay-at-home mom. She attends a private Christian school. All these were dreams I had for how I wanted to raise my children. And even though sin disrupted the nuclear family I hoped for, once I repented and aligned with God’s will, He held me. I don't worry about a thing.

And for those thinking, "Yeah but what if life is hard right now?" Let me tell you about when I moved to Texas without God’s permission. He told me to return to California. I obeyed. And He STILL disciplined me. I didn’t "win" the court case like I thought I would. I questioned, "Why send me back and not allow me to "win" but rather "draw"?" I was confused and broken.

But in His kindness, He provided me with an opportunity to housesit for someone. A quiet place where I could cry and be with Him. And I heard Him clearly: "I discipline those I love." During that season, I worked full-time as a therapist and had to get a part-time job at Disneyland—just to afford child care. A whole master's degree, and I was working at Disneyland. But in God’s kindness, those free tickets gave me and Brielle a chance to bond.

Eventually, I was able to leave Disneyland because I received a child care grant. The process of getting that grant went through faster for me than anyone else I know. I got a raise at work. There is no longer any court involvement and everything is cohesive.

Over the years I did still struggle to see how much God provided and how he was protecting us. It was only after I completely surrendered that I was able to see how the Lord provides at all times for his children.

All that to say, Psalm 127 is true in my life.

When you find yourself toiling, ask: "Lord, is this Your will? Am I on the right path?" What God has for you may require work- but it will not require you to go into overdrive. It won't require you to live outside of his example of having time for rest, prayer, and silence....

Like the preacher said... I'm getting ready to close😂

Lets focus on the last part of that Psalm:

3 Children are a gift from the LORD;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.

One of the main things that led me to surrender from toiling wasn’t just the insight I gained from therapy—it was also the way it was impacting my 5 year old daughter. I realized how snappy I had become with her. I didn’t have the energy to play with her, and I was picking up fast food almost daily because I did not have the capacity to cook.

The Lord reminded me: she is my first ministry. It wasn’t fair that she was getting the worst of me. But when I gave God everything that was on my plate, I was finally able to see her again. My irritability subsided. I could laugh again, be silly, play, teach her, and enjoy the little moments.

When we spend so much time chasing financial stability, we often sacrifice relational stability. So many marriages are struggling due to a lack of energy and insight to tend to them. Children aren’t being nurtured or discipled by their parents, not out of neglect but out of depletion. Many adults live isolated lives without friendships simply because they don’t have time or energy. Churches are running low on resources and volunteers for the same reason. Stepping away from our outside obligations and focusing on family is not derived from laziness or selfishness. Its derived from trusting in the lord. Let me as a single mother, living on her own, without any financial assistance, prove to you how God takes care of his children.

Let us meditate on this reminder from Jesus:

“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,
yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?”
—Matthew 6:26–30 (NLT)

Fam, it wasn’t until I finally let go of trying to work everything out on my own that I found peace. It wasn’t until I started healing from the insecurities that drove all my strivings that I discovered real contentment. When I began practicing gratitude and actually saw how much God had already given me—that’s when joy showed up. It is in this comfort that I can enjoy my family and allow God to work on my character. It was in the stillness that I finally heard His voice... Learning that I am loved and have purpose.

That’s how we got here.
Briana Breathes.